


Bend

by Gadhar



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 22:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2828279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadhar/pseuds/Gadhar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: Not mine.</p><p>So, hi, been awhile. No, I'm not dead, but am cold, so maybe half-way there. </p><p>Small drabble as a *waves hand* something or other.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Bend

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.
> 
> So, hi, been awhile. No, I'm not dead, but am cold, so maybe half-way there. 
> 
> Small drabble as a *waves hand* something or other.

Barney had been trying to ignore the slowly growing fear in his gut all week; but it came bubbling to the surface when he found Lee's door unlocked. 

Then it changed to a sick, cloying sludge he could feel in his veins, prickling across his skin as he reached a hand for the gun he had tucked in the back of his pants.

Not that he usually ran around with a gun so close at hand but when it came to Lee...

Barney slowly twisted the knob, listening before pushing the door open. He kept all his movements careful and measured. He didn't know what he would find.

He never thought twice about how ridiculous it was that Lee disappeared for a week and Barney's immediate thought was danger. It was ridiculous because it could simply be that Lee wanted time away and he sure as hell could take care of himself, but Barney knew.

Knew there was something off in the way that Lee had left without a word or call, not a even a stingent refusal under pressure for an explanation. Knew something was wrong in the way that Lee had actively participated ina converaation with Galgo; active being that the more than two words Lee had said to him were hugely offensive in some way that they shut Galgo up and sent him spiraling into the depths of his mind for a whole day.

Galgo had been quiet.

Barney never wanted to be the guy to help Galgo dig through the muck of his mind but then he was and it was quite frankly an experience Barney found equally disturbing and easy to forget. And half of that came from how utterly confused he left that conversation.

Lee's place had never been particularly welcoming. Barney didn't know why that sudden thought hit him. Maybe it was because of the state the place was in now. 

It was an apartment Barney paid the rent on himself, an argument Lee fought viciously until realizing it was just something Barney had to do. If he didn't, he had it in his head that Lee would somehow back fall back into the random hotels and motels and occasional night on Barney's couch. So he paid it up and damn near dragged Lee's ass in. So no, not particularly welcoming - maybe the minimalism was Lee's way of protesting - but the way it was now made it worse.

Upturned and broken furniture, papers all over the place, shattered plates and cups, a fist-sized hole in the wall.

Barney reached down and set the end table right, laying his gun on it. He closed the door and locked it, taking a moment to breathe deeply before turning.

And there was Lee, amid all the chaos, hunkered down in a corner of the room. 

Barney slid down the wall to sit a good arm's length away. The bottles of alcohol sitting in various places didn't escape his notice. He didn't need a drunk Lee trying to bash his face in.

Barney looked over to find Lee's head raised from  the safety of his arms; eyes ringed red, highlighted by the dark circles, and sunk in. Face gray and tear streaked. 

Barney wasn't so sure it was Lee he was looking at.

But those eyes settled on him, sharp and clear, glittering with danger. "Wasn't expecting company."

And that voice was clear too, not clogged up with emotion like Barney expected. Not clogged up with anything, actually. 

"You disappeared," Barney said, getting right to the point.

Lee's throat worked and Barney readied himself for some bullshit brush-off. Instead he got some blasé explanation. "Yeah, wasn't in a good place. Bad head trip. Usual self-loathing bend." 

"How much of that 'bend' was drinking?"

Lee squinted curiously, eyes widening in recognition. "Oh. The bottles. I didn't drink 'em."

Of course not. They just decided to fall over empty on the floor on their own.

"That isn't to say I didn't try. Because I did. But then that part of me, that one part that I think is as close to good as I can ever be, said, 'No you fucking jackass, you don't deserve to numb yourself to all the suffering.' And I realized that part was right. Multiple times. So, alcohol went down the drain."

"Multiple times."

Lee nodded. "Told you I tried." Lee's voice cracked and Barney could see the stuttering rhythm of his chest, the shaking of his shoulders. "It's funny, I spent so much time, falling apart. I think all the tears have dried up. But I can still be a sodding fucking mess."

"Shit, Lee." Barney moved close, pulled against the tightness of Lee's body, the rigidity, and hugged him. Held him. 

"Don't say anything," Lee choked out. His hands clutched at Barney shirt, toes curled in tight and he tried to curl even further into Barney, making himself small. "Just don't."

"I won't," Barney promised. And he wouldn't. Not now. Later, when Lee wasn't in pieces he'd say a lot. Now though, no. Lee didn't want someone to tell him sweet lies of how okay everything was going to be. And Barney wasn't even sure if it was him Lee wanted. If Lee wanted anything. But he did know what Lee needed, at least a little. And he could handle that much.

"I'll be fine in the morning. These things rarely go over a week." It takes a week to put it all back in it's box, to push it to the back of his mind. It's a week to release the pressure on the bottle where the emotions are held - a stopgap to the day when it explodes and sends its sharp shards everywhere. "I'll be fine in the morning."

"Sure you will."


End file.
